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Childhood trauma and its consequences
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 Post subject: Spanking
PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:10 pm 
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Location: Sweden
Being involved in a spanking debate in another forum, I'm curious how others here deal with that. Apparently many people in the US are convinced that spanking is just an approved form of disciplining children and shouldn't be compared with child abuse in any way. If denial goes that far, what about the more subtle forms of abuse?

Dennis


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:37 pm 
Many people believe that it is necessary to hurt children (to instill fear, guilt, disgust, anger in them) in order for them to adapt better to society, school, work, etc. Parents think they don't have choice. Even if they were familiarized with primal therapy (and science and philosophy behind it) they would still have to use authority to force children into unnatural activities. The percentage of malignant personality disorders could be reduced with more education on childbirth and childrearing, of course. But average neurosis is necessary.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 9:36 pm 
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It's tough to take an opposing view against such a strongly entrenched belief and in particular a belief that many parents feel certain that their view is the "correct" view.

Yeah, I've had people give me that old cliche "I was spanked as a child and I turned out all right". How do you tell them that perhaps they didn't turn out all right and that perhaps great damage was done by those spankings?

When it comes to children there are so many self-righteous views in our society -- that kids should be assigned chores, children should be forced to do homework and pushed to "achieve", teenagers should get a job. Whhhew, you wouldn't believe the flack I take at work because I still let my 21-year old son (who is full-time in school) use my car, because I haven't forced my 19-year old (who is part-time in school) to get a job! They seem to think that there is only one answer and that should work for everyone -- I mean, hey, it worked for them, right!?

I really haven't figured out a way to effectively get through to these kinds of people. I try to calmy put my view out there for anyone who is ready to hear it (and I take a fair share of ridicule and scorn in return). I also try to remember that each person is on their own journey and will have the experience that they are meant to have and in that sense "all is well" --- it doesn't really matter to me whether anyone else changes their opinion or not; I do my part as best I can and try to let the rest go.

Linda S.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:46 pm 
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I've to admit that only when I'm in the right mood, I engage in a debate about spanking. I feel, as 8 million other people do in Sweden, spanking a child is harmful and so self-evident, that debating about that is unheard of. And why debate about something when the other group can't be there to defend themselves (the kids).

A friend of mine in Holland (a country that has unfortunately very similar opinions on spanking as the US), started to interfer with public spankings of kids by their parent. The first time she interfered, she couldn't say a word, just stuttered. But she knew, by interfering, she showed the kid something unjustful was done to him and simultaneously she stood up for the kid she once was. Eventually she learned to deal with it much better.

I was offline since Saturday and it's sad what to read at Speyrer's Forum and the lack of participation on this forum.

Dennis

P.S. Does anyone have login problems. I've to log in twice to get in here.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:57 am 
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I was able to login automatically on this forum some weeks ago but that doesn't work now.

A question about the lack of participation on the forums, is it better to have no posts or to have some annoying types of posts?

Some people seem concerned with the image primal has on the PPP message board and maybe here as well. I don't worry about that myself, but if I did, no acitivity on the forums could make it appear that primal is "dead".

Phil


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