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Childhood trauma and its consequences
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 3:02 pm 
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(copied from the website)
Redirecting Self-Therapy (RST)

Note - the term "postflood" was a term coined by Ellie Van Winkle - to mean a point where 95% of the suppressed anger has been discharged. In other words - when a 95% cure has taken place.

Note: you should not use this website as a substitute for understanding RST. This website is merely an addition to the information Ellie left us - and an expression of the number of ways that one can safely discharge anger. Links To Ellie's website can be found at http://www.gocure.com, and you should go there first if you stumbled onto this website by accident. Otherwise, the information here will make little sense.

The actual how-to for Redirecting Self-Therapy (RST) is somewhat scattered through Ellie's website and forum. I am working on a much more detailed website about my experience with RST that is a few months from going public. For now, this website shows how creative you can be with RST.

The details of my own life aren't important, but I do have over a years experience with Redirecting Self-Therapy. I've also studied psychology (off and on) for over thirty years, in an attempt to understand my own suffering. I'm very well versed in regressive therapies in general. The healing process is taking me a little longer than most others who have used RST. This turns out to be a good thing - it has given me plenty of time to experiment and understand RST. It will not take you as long to heal because you now have more information on this therapy than I did in the beginning.

Describing my symptoms in detail are not necessary here. However, the nature of my symptoms are such that I'm a perfect test case for this therapy. Certain components of my symptoms are present all the time, every waking/sleeping second of my life - for over thirty years. Because of this, the slightest change (improvement) in symptoms is detectable by me. This has turned out to be a blessing. This tells me when the therapy is working and allows me to confirm what does - and doesn't work with Ellie's discovery. Nothing - absolutely nothing - has ever lessened my symptoms up until I started using this profound discovery by Ellie Van Winkle. I saw results in five minutes the first time I used it correctly. As thousands more people begin to use it, I hope they too will express what works. Note: "redirecting" always refers to Redirecting Self-Therapy (RST).

I've used basically two methods of discharging anger while using RST. Both have worked equally well for me so far. The fact that both methods work, confirms Ellie's theory and also pokes a small hole in it.


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 11:33 pm 
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this therapy is amazing, I have tried it all and this is head and shoulders above anything else I have come across, the results so far from just 6 weeks have been stunning, I might add that it has been very intense and difficult to do, I wouldnt recommend what I did, 4 or 5 hours a day, the detox crisis's were absolutely brutal, but I was fed up with feeling the way I did and wanted some progress, I am committed to seeing it through, my diet is pretty good and I am hoping to feel pretty good by xmas, apparently you can reach post flood in a few months if you put the effort in, we shall have to wait and see!

Also, I have noticed that the pain in my knees that I have had since a boy is gone, I can literally feel the tension leave my body!

I still have a long way to go but so far I feel this therapy should be comomn knowledge and practised by everybody who is having mental or physical difficulites!

I will post another update in a months time!

Great sight by the way!

Jimmy


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 12:32 am 
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Hi Jimmy and welcome to the forum. A primal-based therapy like RST can indeed result in powerful improvements regarding mental and physical health. Just reading how the pain in your knees disappeared, shows again that this therapy deserves more attention.

When it comes to post flood, it depends a lot of how much damage a person has suffered. Defenses against traumas are real and hardwired and it takes courage to continue the process while at the same time, the body hesitates and the mind makes up excuses.

How did you start the process and what made you decide to try RST?

Dennis

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:59 pm 
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Hi Dennis, yes, you are right, this therapy certainly deserves more recoginiton, its a long story for me, I have suffered from anxiety disorder for the last couple of years and just could not help myself get better, I was put on seroxat which helped but I didnt want to use medication for too long, the psych docs took me off the meds too quickly and I spiralled into hell, I realised what was happening but they refused to believe me, I eventually got a prescription from my GP but I couldnt manage to stabilize on the stuff again, needless to say, I absolutely share your views on psychiatry and medication 100%!!! I was literally desperate and very close to ending it because I just could not see a way out. I then started to think a bit more about my condition, some one had mentioned to me that I may have a lot supressed anger, I was so unfamiliar with the emotion that I didnt see it. I found this website by pure chance and once I started reading, my jaw dropped! This was it!! I immediately recognised that behind my anxiety was anger not getting a chance to be let out. I began practising for hours every day, i only really wanted to help my anxiety disorder but I got a lot more than I bargained for, waves of supressed feelings and emotions began to hit me like a ton of bricks, headaches, fever, nightmares, depression, you name it! I didnt plan on doing it this way but that is the way it worked out for me. I have another 6 months sick leave from work, I have zero responsibilites other than to eat, sleep and do this. If you are going to do it like me, 100% committed, you really wont be able for much else, I am a bit of a recluse since I started this but thats the way I like it for now, I couldnt believe that this therapy was sitting their stagnating for so long, not a single post on the forum for over 8 years, I have treid to spread the word on other websites but people dont seem to latch on to it at all, it will resonate more with some than others but I firmly believe that this therapy would help anybody immensely. Anyway, I am hoping if I keep up my 4 or 5 hours a day, I will see results by xmas, all I really want is to level out and feel a little happier than I have done, the detox's are very bad but there is no doubt that they are very healing, I have had my first signs of grief in the last week or so which is a relief, I havnt cried in years. After 6 weeks things are improving, I can definitely see improvements, I am starting to see my parents in a different light, as human beings who did their best, and my body is much more realxed and limber than it was, my head is still mush though, its very very intense, I am hopeing that detox's will lesson over the next month or so becuase I wouldnt wish them on anyboby. I will go through it though knowing what is waiting on the otherside, I will keep you posted and feel free to ask me anything further or discuss this.

Good to meet you Dennis, from what Ive seen on your website, you are a man after my own heart!

Jimmy


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:15 pm 
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Hey Dennis, have you used this therapy yourself at all?? I am trying to encourage people to use it all over the place but its very hard to convince people that this works, it does take a lot of faith and courage to go through it but the results are worth it, you really can make leaps and bounds using it, I must admit, I have been totally fascinated with this therapy since I found it. My own therapist is dead against me doing it so much every day, given the states I have turned up in, but I am stubborn and dogged and I want results, I am not expecting the post flood or the ultimate peace of mind, more some thing to 'build on' for the future. My brother has been in therapy for four years with good results but still not where he wants to be, when I showed him this he recognised stragiht away what it represents. He had been 'talking' about his anger for those four years without getting it out. When I am through with this, I am going to document my whole expereince, from where I came from to the actual experience itself, and see if I can raise awareness of this therapy. Even the gentlemen who put together a site called http://www.gocure.com has no contact details so I cannot get in touch with ANYBODY who has used this therapy or who is post flood. In my opnion, the woman who recognised and presented this therapy, Ellie Van Winkle is a saint, she only had 3 years of peace out of her 73 before she passed this onto others. I have read a couple of articles about it that are less than enthusiastic about it but I know that it works. I hope one day that this therapy becomes mianstream in all psychotherapy.

I have been reading peter breggins books of late, just received toxic psychiatry. I had (and am having) a horrific experience with seroxat, I have started to taper it now properly, but it will take me over a year which is such a shame, I would love to be medication free whilst doing this!


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:29 am 
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Thanks for telling us a bit more about your experiences. Amazing how to read that you had to discover how much suppressed anger you had. We live in a society that protects parents and authority figures and medicate people who start feeling some of the resistance, some of that justified anger, so they suppress it even more.

It works much like you describe it, almost like an onion, peeling one layer reveals another and it can be very overwhelming at times. I started my awakening in the early 1990s, after having read this Sineád O'Connor interview, which brought me to the books of Alice Miller and Arthur Janov. With Stettbacher's book Making Sense of Suffering I got a bit of a grasp how to evolve. When I found the works of Ellie Van Winkle some years later, it had a lot of similarities. Though I have to say that it's dangerous to just let out anger with a clock ticking behind you. Anger needs to be felt when it's connected to the cause. Otherwise new defenses are being build and you never get to the core feelings. Like you I had sick leave and I didn't care about anything else than my own healing. You have to demand time for yourself because no one will do it for you.

I can say that pain is not going to last forever, even if it might feel like that. In my opinion, and don't take this the wrong way, you shouldn't rush yourself or putting deadlines. And start seeing what your needs are and not to be afraid of joy. Even if that's just eating an ice cream in the sun. Happiness comes in small bits.

I don't really agree with Van Winkle's strict eating rules. Of course if you eat too much of a certain thing, it's never good, but I think healthier food comes natural when a person is coming to a stage where he or she respects life more.

Peter Breggin is a very intelligent and passionate author and his books are very insightful. There's a Belgian therapist, Rien Verdult, who has written books with his partner but they haven't been translated in English. He wrote about the differences between a real person and an ill person, which is important because often people delude themselves in believing they are healed. It can be somehow a reference to how far one is in therapy.

Image

It's good to hear that you are planning to write about your experiences as well. Just out of curiosity, how old are you and in which part of the world do you live?

Dennis


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 1:38 am 
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Hi Dennis, thanks for your post, it is amazing how life unfolds, I am fascinated to hear you had a similar experience on your path to healing. I am ashamed to admist I had hidden a hose pipe and some duct tape up the mountains because I couldnt see any light. I utterly loathe psychiatry today, you should have seen how they treated me, the drugs they wanted me on. I hear what you are saying about getting the balance right and factoring in some down time and that but I dont really have a choice, between the seroxat withdrawal and the detox crisis I am literally 24/7 in the middle of it all. I do a fair bit of driving and hiking around the mountains and some reading, thats about it. Ive told my friends I will see them at christmas, I dont really intend to put a time limit on it, it takes as long as it takes, but I am hoping that as I taper off the seroxat and get to a lower dose, and a few months of this therapy, I will feel somewhat functionable and normal by then, christmas is a socialable time of the year so I need to be around, right now I am a loner!!

I agree with you about the diet, my diet is pretty good but you are detoxing what is buried inside you, your diet will only have a marginal effect on the experience in my opinion. I am averaging about 3 or 4 hours a day, so I will have reacked up a lot of hours by december..

I am 32, from and living in Dublin.

How about you?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 11:31 pm 
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Hi Jimmy, it's sad to hear that there was a time in your life you felt you didn't deserve to live. Psychiatry does everything in their power to prevent the victim acting out the abuse they once suffered. Only a therapy that takes the past of a patient seriously, including the symbolic acting out and sides with the victim without protecting the parents, is worth called a therapy. Everything else is manipulation and re-victimization and in the case of pharmaceuticals, often mind-numbing.

I turned 40 this year and I'm a Dutchman living on the west coast in Sweden for 12 years now. I've never been in Ireland but we have Irish friends coming over once a year. We also have some people from Ireland on this forum. I come from a Catholic family but my parents were never really serious about it. But I've seen enough to see how damaging religion actually is. It's subtle sometimes, and I never understood adults taking it seriously. It's also the reason why I recognized so many of my own experiences in the Interview with Sinéad O'Connor. I think it's important to speak out and provide an alternative in the totalitarian world where so many victims feel they live.

There are some good threads around here, also about RST. So feel free to check some out.

Dennis

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 1:02 am 
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thanks Dennis, couldnt agree more with you, I was convinced to seea nother psych a few weeks ago, who told me that my condition was 'very complex'! I expalined to him about my problems with seroxat and he tried to convince me he could switch me to another drug without any problems. I got a bill for 475euro for the 2 hours I spent there, I am having a really hard time stomaching paying this bill. Its funny, I am reading toxic psychiatry at the moment, Im sure you've read it yourself. The psych I saw was a textbook dickhead that breggan describes. No empathy, very basic knoweldge of what he was talking about, I wish I saw through these guys sooner, but I have learnt a lot over the last 6 months about myself and the world of psychiatry, mental illness, people etc. If you are like me, all you really care about is feeling well and contented, I wont stop until I get there. I have enough cash to see me through the next 6 months. This therapy is working Dennis, I think I am over the worst of it after 6 weeks, that is the really, really bad detox crisis's. I redirected for a full 6 hours today and I feel ok tonight. Just chilling out watching a video. The toxins continue to leave my body, physically I cannot believe how flexible and bendy I am. I am sleeping better aswell, its funny, lying in bed I can feel the toxins coming out, hands, feet etc. I am keeping a daily journal of my experiences, the first month was horrific, barely survived it, but it is slowly getting better, as long as it does, I know I will have the strength to see it out. So many people never bother to look inside themselves or ever really get to know who they are, I suppose its their choice.

I have read everything on the net related to RST, didnt take long, so little on the net about it, I expect that to change over the years.

I have also purchased one of janov's book on primal healing which will be my next read.

Have you ever heard of holosync?? Its a very popular and powerful brainwave meditation programme, I tried it but it was too much for me at the time, will give it another go soon.

Take it easy

Jimmy


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:30 am 
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Good to hear that you're making so much progress on your own, Jimmy. It's a difficult process, to visit your childhood again and becoming emotionally conscious. At those moments I had a hard time of going through, I managed to convince myself that whatever I was feeling, it wasn't something that was happening now, but something that had happened and I wasn't in danger anymore. I was living at home again, with my parents at the time (I was about 23) and they were constantly threatening me to throw me out of the house. I told them if they wanted to start a war, they would have more to lose than me. So eventually they laid off a bit. In the meantime I continued the healing process. Like you I had hit rock bottom and nothing to lose. But I felt strongly that I needed to overcome suppressed childhood emotions.

I haven't heard of holosync. I have to say that I never quite understood why some people are drawn to meditation. Is it to soothe racing thoughts? Or to have time for yourself? Why not just sit down on your porch, or taking a bath with candle-light, or sitting in front of an open fire. I had a quick look at the website and it looks like a bunch of hogwash to me. They're talking about the balanced brain with the help of Holosync with EEG and the "typical unbalanced brain". They're jumping on the bandwagon of the pharmaceutical industry and their myth of the unbalanced brain. There's no such thing as an unbalance brain nor has there even been any evidence showing what an unbalanced brain should look like. Mental illness or mental health cannot be measured by EEG.

Primal Healing by Janov is a good book. I wrote a bit about it on the forum. I can also recommend his book Prisoners of Pain.

Dennis

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 7:29 pm 
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Hello again Dennis, I must say, I am enjoying these early exchanges with you, seems we are on the same page although Im sure you are further down the track of healing then me. Nevertheless, I am making excellent progress, yesterday I redirected for 7 hours and felt very good when I got home, good memories and feelings of contentment are hovering now, I think I am over the worst of it and am confident I will get my christmas present - feeling as well as I have ever done. I dont think there is anything more wonderful then overcoming a mental illness and feeling happy and content with yourself is there? I am pushing RST on a few people I know who need it, my brother and ex girlfriend are both very interested. I still cannot believe this is not more popular. Some guy or girl did put together another website called gocure.com but it still doesnt do it justice, it should be the most popular website on self improvement on the net or thereabouts. Im very serious about this therapy now, I firmly believe there is nothing more powerful and transforming or will there ever be than this. I was thinking last night that maybe a future project of mine, if I ever came across the resources, would be to put together a more detailed website that would get more coverage and spread the word. Ellie Van Winkle saved my life, there are no two ways about it. I notice today that the tinnitus I had in my left ear is almost gone, I have been hearing this clicking in my ear for the last couple of weeks and had a feeling this would happen, that has bothered me for years, is there anything you cant heal with RST?? I am racking up 5 or 6 hours a day now pretty consistently, I will have about 400 hours under my belt by xmas, that will put a massive dent in my suffering Im sure. Such a pity I am still on the seroxat, I will be down to half my dose by then but I wont feel fully healed until I am off completely.

As far as holosync is concerned, I have done a lot of research on it because I figured it was my last hope of improving. I am pretty sure that it does work becuase I have spoken to a hell of a lot of people, but who is to say they are feeling as great as they say, the subject is subjective enough, on the websites I can sense that a lot of them are still angry, you can pick it up from the words they write, I will probably go back to it at some stage although I take your point.

How old did you say you were Dennis?

Jimmy


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 7:59 pm 
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..I see you said you were 40 in an earlier post Dennis! Redirecting going so well now, definitely turned a corner this week, getting in 6 hours plus a day, detox symptoms are getting much less intense thank god, I have a wonderful sense of where I am going to be after this, if I keep this up Imk sure by xmas I will be in great shape. Not much grief yet, I think maybe there will not be much grief for me, just the anger, could be wrong!

Dennis, can you tell me a bit about your expereince with RST please? Did you reach post flood??


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:36 pm 
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I think the reason why RST never got the attention it deserved, is because it's free for anyone and it would rob a lot of people out of work: psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, a lot of medical doctors, social workers, the whole pharmaceutical industry (which is wealthier than the oil industry), etc. Then all the people that are sitting in some kind of power position in society, those who can influence the rules and laws, are usually overly intellectual types with an aversion against feeling.

Every person's life is different and unique. I was never diagnosed with any of the psychiatric labels. I was dealing with expressing anger throughout my whole childhood. When I was 17/18 years old - before I knew anything - I used to run every evening 3.2 km (2 miles), thinking about my dad and getting the anger out. Many times I was vomiting at the end. I hated my parents consciously. What was difficult to realize was that I once needed respect and care from my parents. I grieved for at least a year, crying every day, alone, when memories of my childhood came back, seeing that little boy I once was, curious, spontaneous, playful, but punished every time when he expressed himself. My dad used to beat me often until the age of 14 when he came to realize I was growing and might be hitting back. When my dad beat me on my behind, he usually asked if I had enough. And I thought it was a ridiculous question so I said: "No", not wanting to give him that gratification. He usually got so mad and sent me to my room. Later when I started to work (at the age of 16), I ended up in a terrible job, which ruined my back. I never took the pain seriously and continued too long. I abused my body the same way my dad abused my body.

I had periods I was taping up every ray of light sipping through the window, making my bedroom pitch black at night. Even the digits on my VCR. But after a while, this need disappeared. And so eventually came the end of mourning and I felt I could enjoy life again. I don't know if it's post flood. Some people want to get there, which is counter effective because it's not about feeling better, it's about feeling real. When someone is in pain, he or she often wants to feel better and the pain to be stopped. But pain is a real good signal that something is wrong. Fixing that something, and not only the pain stops but you can also prevent it for the next time. Feeling great is easy. You can choose from many drugs and parties. I distrust everything that promises someone a 'great feeling'. When great feelings come unexpected, there's much more joy to them. Or just to be able to feel is already a gift.

Jimmy (or anyone else), if you want, I can set up a blog for you on this website where you can write more about your life.

I also noticed that people who have experienced RST or Primal, often want others to do the same and get disappointed when they don't get the response they were hoping for. Re-directing these disappointments and hope, is also part of the therapy because abused children long after healthy, caring parents. I had a relationship with a woman who I bombarded with all the arguments from Miller, Janov, and others. This woman was depressive, manipulative and pushed me away and pulled me back and pushed me away over and over again. I gave her everything trying to convince her to stay with me. She chose an abuser though and our relationship ended. Man, when I had to realize the similarities with my own depressed mother who I needed so badly in my childhood, I thought I was becoming crazy. But I went through it with many tears and it helped me in my growth. And relationships...

Post Flood isn't a walk in the park. It's a life with less extreme hurt.

Dennis

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:56 pm 
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Dennis

thanks a lot for your post, very powerful and refreshing to be able to be so honest and open in our discussions, I would like to think people will stumble across this thread and really get something out of it. The redirecting is going magnificently now, felt the last pain in my knees go aswell as some old pains I had, cramps etc, my body seems 100% restored now, cannot believe it, what a bonus, feel so energetic and flexible. Really been in the zone the last few days, really feel the anger, and getting intense highs afterwards, things are moving along very nicely, I had a dream last night were I remembered how inconsolable I was after having to leave my grandmothers house after a holiday when I was younger, I hope this means there is some grief on the way.

God this therapy just makes so much sense on every level doesnt it?? I think it was fate I came across it Dennis, I really do, we will see where it goes but I am not the type of person to have my cake, and eat the whole lot myself, I will be happy to share!

I really like the idea of the blog, I will be writing a full account of my experience, aswell as my history etc very soon.

I will catch up with you later in the week Dennis.

Jimmy


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:29 pm 
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Glad to hear you've achieved so much through your therapy, Jimmy. Having a body that doesn't ache anymore is a huge victory. It's all about connections, being complete. You are on your way to have your autonomy back and you can start living your honest life according to your needs.

I like to think when I write/ share something, if there's at least one person out there who is being helped with it, then mission accomplished. People are defensive in different degrees and it only works if you are at the right place at the right time. So I think if you could share some of your experiences of your therapeutic journey, probably someone else will get the motivation as well.

On the other hand, because people are different and it worked well for you, doesn't automatically mean it will work for everyone. But sharing knowledge is always good.

It's amazing how certain traumatic situations first appear in our dreams. Whatever the context, the feelings you feel in your dreams are authentic.

Go ahead and eat that cake, you deserved it. :)

Dennis

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