questions about confrontion with traumatic memories
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Author:  Dennis [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: questions about confrontion with traumatic memories

Welcome to the Forum. It may look like there's less search for truth in traumatic experiences, but in the professional world they seem to catch up. I think in general people are overwhelmed with information after the Internet became so huge so fast. People seem to shut off generally and it takes time before we get to the point where moderation is back.

Should healing be the aim? I think people naturally move towards healing. It takes more energy to keep the pain down and stay repressed then to embrace healing. I always see this; the older people get the more the walls tumble down, but chaotically if they never done anything to feel more. It's your own personal choice how to live your life. In my life it was and is the aim because I don't want to end up like the people who refuse to heal. But the tricky part is that there are people who get addicted to healing, it becomes a drug for them. There's always some kind of balance. Healing doesn't mean a life without problems. On the contrary. You will deal with problems in a more real way then before and not feel like the hopeless child many of us were. Self-determination instead of letting others live your life.

Biologically speaking, it's life-saving to have deep confrontations with repressed pain and let grief into your life. When it comes to self-esteem, to feel like a real human-being who can feel, it will open a life full of rewards and beauty and the whole spectrum of feelings.

I have a question for you: What would you consider is your most urgent problem right now?


Author:  Dennis [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: questions about confrontion with traumatic memories

You mentioned a psychoanalyst. You will never find the emotional connection to the truth of your childhood with them. Alice denounced psychoanalysis and wrote elaborately about the reasons. Therapy these days come in different forms and I can see that the feeling part is taken much more serious than before. Also healing doesn't always have to come from a professional. See for example Daniel Mackler's documentary "Healing Homes"

and "Open Dialogue"

If your current relationships are not to your satisfaction, I highly recommend the self-help books "Reclaiming Your Life" by Jean Jenson" and "Making Sense of Suffering" by J. Konrad Stettbacher. Excellent books about denial, projection, under-reactors and over-reactors. I would say, those books in combination with empathic movies and songs that make a connection with the child you once were, is a huge step in the right direction. But it's my humble opinion. Choice is yours.


Author:  Dennis [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 10:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: questions about confrontion with traumatic memories

In my opinion Alice Miller defending her pain by attacking therapies that would expose it. She wrote forewords in books and books are a document of history. One shouldn't change it. Writers have very little to say once the book is published. It's the publisher who owns the right of publication and it's up to him to change or not.

Life is often like a roller-coaster. Keep in mind that you have a healthy part inside of you and a damage part. Discover the difference and build on to your healthy part by make the life changes accordingly.

Thank you for your posts.


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